AA

During my years as a drinking alcoholic, of course I tried AA, it's one of the most heavily advertised groups out there.

I phoned them, spoke to some nice people, got invited to groups, went along, but really and truthfully got nothing out of them.

All I can remember is the boredom of sitting there for so long, just waiting for people to stop standing up wanting to share, so that I could get to the offy and buy a drink.  Nothing said in the meetings hit me or held me or made me think I could be like them, nor did I want to be like them.  I wanted to be like me, but a sober me.

I didn't like the little sayings, they seemed smug, and still do, propped up on cards round gloomy rooms, usually in old churches reinforcing the spiritual tokenism which wasn't for me.

I know it's helped so many people, and I'm sure not putting it down, but there are other ways to get sober and I resent the way they say if you don't join AA you will not stop drinking.  If you're drowning in a hellish deep pit of despair, to hear that something you personally find annoying and no help at all, is the only thing that will get you sober, is pretty demoralising.

I really think they should stop saying that.  Unless they don't say it to everyone, but every meeting I went to they said it to me.

The people individually were pleasant, they meant well, some were kind, but the whole thing was too spiritual for me, I didn't believe in any higher power, I still don't.  I needed something tangible, something 'I' could believe in to hold on to at my bad times.

I found it in my family, as stated here, but I truly believe that AA is wrong if they are continuing to tell the lie that you can only stop drinking if you're with them.

To me it's like swapping one addiction for another, having to go to meetings once, or sometimes they say, twice a day.

We're all unique and AA doesn't work for all of us, for those it does work for then great, but we all should find our own way and AA maybe should state that there are other ways to stop.

Even the treatment centre I went to made us go to AA meetings once a week, I'd hide in the toilet till they'd gone, I just couldn't face it.

I had to hit my own rock bottom, I had to find my 'own' way of stopping, and I did and I hope that anyone reading this will truly believe that if AA isn't for them, then there are a million other ways to do it, just don't give up, it's possible, I know and a dear friend of mine has been sober for 15 years without AA.

My message is, AA is great if you like it and it works for you, but if not, YOU CAN DO IT WITHOUT AA.