For years my safe place outside the house was my car, but after sobriety, even that didn't feel safe.
My panic attacks were unbearable, so I stopped going out.
This was in 2004, and apart from three trips I've not been out of the house since.
TODAY I LEFT THE HOUSE!
After a year therapy I left the house today! I collected my 'safe' things to take with me, as discussed with my therapist. In my bag I dutifully placed a cold bottled drink, my mobile and Ipod, my hands were shaking as I did it, my heart was racing and I felt like crying, but I was determined to do it this time.
To beat my demons bit by bit.
My therapist arrived, I waited for her at the gate in a bit of a state. I took a few deep breathes and said, 'ok, lets go'.
We did one circuit and I opted to go for one more, I was so pleased the panic feelings kept to a minimum.
I didn't need my bottle of water, mobile phone or ipod that I took as comfort 'toys'.
Sober, and a trip out in the car.
A great day!
2 comments:
Wooooooo hooooooo. One small step for woman kind!
:-)) Thank you:-) Next tuesday is looming fast, have to do it again. Will let you know how I get on:-) x
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